talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
