im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
