'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
