Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize