yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
