Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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