You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
