Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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