TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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