I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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