Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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