No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
