This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
