Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
