I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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