when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I could fuck to npr.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
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