If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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