i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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