i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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