my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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