so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
