I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
