So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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