wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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