Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
