doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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