we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
