oh god the rape fog is back!
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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