well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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