I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
