She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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