To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Randomize