pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
