You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
