There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
