This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
