he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I have fence marks all over my body
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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