I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
