My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
