Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Pooping to opera.
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