I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
