She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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