Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
its not stalking. its research.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
