I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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