OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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