I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
