What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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