You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
