So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Sorry my hands just texted you
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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