i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
