on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
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