You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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