smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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