And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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