I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
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