I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
