I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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