I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
