Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
She's the barista slut.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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