did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
