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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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