so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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